How to Kill Me

 Stab me

With something long and narrow

Deep in my side

So the bleeding is internal--

Eternal--

Causing weakness and apathy

Til the blood bubbles up;

I'll close my mouth,

I'll close my eyes,

To keep it inside.

Smother me

While I rest

(But I never sleep);

I'll suck up 

The down.

But lay on my heart

While you hold a pillow to my head,

Rock me gently

As I crash.

Shoot me--

In the chest, not the head--

Bullet ricochets like a pin ball

My ribs flip and bump

To slingshot the ball

Deep in the muscle

The size of a fist

At last unclenching--

A hole to break the whole.

Just don't let me die

Being flayed alive, 

Rubbed raw by routine,

Irritated ad nauseum

By Sisyphean habits.

Skin blistered and peeled

Until every exposed nerve

Awakens with each 

New movement; each

New stimulus provoking

Agony that astonishes.

Cleansing water becomes

A cauldron of combustion;

Silk sheets, a bed of nails.

All I can do is stand

Still, until I cannot stand

It, still--