Bittersweet

 

Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole by Susan Cain
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The idea that there must be sorrow to have joy is not a new concept. But our obsession with trying to be happy all the time and appear as though everything is great can be just as damaging as those that are negative all the time. I thought Cain did a good job of highlighting some of the value in recognizing that we all long for something, and found it interesting that she realized that spirituality is one of the ways to fill that longing. Also honing in our longings can help us recognize some of our passions and purposes in life. Another point I liked was the idea of "sending love out into the world"; that even if it seems ethereal and esoteric, it is still changing you as the sender of love--just by opening yourself up to that idea allows for actions of real love to come later. Not everything she expounded on clicked with me, and her story of her and her mom seemed more cathartic for her than really illustrating some of her points, but all in all I enjoyed this reminder that its ok and even preferable to sit with longing, loneliness, and pain instead of trying so hard to have everything be perfect and happy all the time.

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longing is momentum in disguise:

our longing is the great gateway to belonging.

Our nervous systems make little distinction between our own pain and the pain of others, it turns out; they react similarly to both. This instinct is as much a part of us as the desire to eat and breathe.

The word compassion literally means “to suffer together,”

We shouldn’t look for sympathy in animals that have no contact with their mothers or fathers, he said.

An important first step is to cultivate humility.

bowing down activates the vagus nerve,

the more gently we speak to ourselves, the more we’ll do the same for others.

pothos, which Plato defined as a yearning desire for something wonderful that we can’t have.

Anyone pulled from a source longs to go back.”

‘Oh Lord, nourish me not with love but with the desire for love,’ while Rumi expressed the same truth in simple terms, ‘Do not seek for water, be thirsty.’ ”

if we embrace the suffering, if we allow it to lead us deep within ourselves, it will take us deeper than any psychological healing.”

This longing you express is the return message (to prayer).

Because our culture has for so long rejected the feminine, we have lost touch with the potency of longing.

“Making yourself feel good is not a nothing,”

“Everything that you love, you will eventually lose. But in the end, love will return in a different form.”

the love you long for will not return in the form you first longed for it.

The Best American Science and Nature Writing 2018

 

The Best American Science and Nature Writing 2018 by Sam Kean
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Sometimes I really don't know how these books end up on my Kindle. But I decided to read this before it became completely irrelevant. It was actually amazingly interesting with essays on everything from a man trying to recreate the Pleistocene era in Russia, to cancer treatments, to possible outcomes of communicating with aliens, to trying to rehabilitate psychopaths, to how to categorize mythological creatures. All interesting and entertaining (true, the political essays didn't hold up as well) and I learned a lot as well.

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Woman At Point Zero

 

Woman at Point Zero by Nawal El Saadawi
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I'll admit that the narration of an Egyptian prostitute's life as she waits for death in prison does not sound like something someone would willingly sit down with. But not only is it beautifully written, but uncovers some deep truths about women and their bodies and power. How do you rise above being a victim when you have no power, money, or influence? How do you show courage in the face of oppression? How do you show agency when you are literally trapped? It's a strangely empowering and hopeful book despite its description.

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Its passivity was a form of resistance, a strange ability not to feel either pleasure or pain, not to let a single hair on my head, or on my body, be moved.

The Marriage of Opposites

The Marriage of Opposites by Alice Hoffman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The historical novelization of Camille Pissarro's mother's life. It starts out on the island of St. Thomas, which has become a haven for persecuted Jews, freed slaves, and Moravians. But there are still rules of who can marry whom, and religion, class, and race become lines that society forbids crossing. Love often breaks those rules, however, and the myriad consequences make for a rich tapestry of secrets, grudges, and enduring love stories. The fact that this is based on a true story makes it even more interesting.

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We were meant to be mice, to go unnoticed so that we would not bring hatred upon our people, who had been so ill-treated in every nation.  But I was not a mouse.  In the fields where I walked, I was much more interested in the actions of the hawks.

Perhaps that was what my mother disliked most.  I resembled her.  I could not help it, but wonder if for some women, that was the worst sin of all.

Fever Dream

Fever Dream by Samanta Schweblin
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is how I like my horror--with hints of "The Yellow Wallpaper" and the inevitable doom of Ethan Frome . It's a short novel and it begs to be read in one sitting. It is strange and haunting and the fact that you can clearly discern some of its underlying truths such as environmental hazards, our uncomfortableness with death and disability, and our false feeling of safety that only bad things happen to others, makes the tale only better.

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Amusing Ourselves to Death

Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business by Andrew Postman
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

An insightful view of how television has changed the way we get information--from entertainment, to the news, to education. While I wouldn't argue with any of its conclusions, I think the more pressing need is to understand how the internet and social media has further changed things. I would love to see a supplement chapter on that, because while tv has changed us, who watches tv the same way anymore? I do think understanding how technology and entertainment work is key to helping us navigate it without being manipulated by it.

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Brave New World

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Not as shocking as 1984 , BNW is probably more relevant. Keep the masses entertained, doped up, and conditioned to accept their lot in life, and you have the perfect society. Family bonds, literature, and science are all sacrificed to keep people from wanting more, having connections, or feeling anything real. It may not be as dramatic as Orwell but it's just as scary.

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shift the emphasis from truth and beauty to comfort and happiness.

Patron Saint of Liars

The Patron Saint of Liars by Ann Patchett
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Ann Patchett is one of my favorite authors, but this is not my favorite book by her. The book is told from three pov--each one-third of the novel. So in a way, it became three novellas, the other characters continuing the story but without understanding all the interior motivations of the other characters. Patchett does such a good job of immersing you in the characters that it can feel a little jarring and disorienting with the shift, until you get the new character's rhythm down. It's a family drama that is at once unique and melancholy. The sort of story of a family that is chosen, not made, from a framework based on letting go those whom you love.

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Apex by Ramez Naam
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

The end of the Nexus trilogy. What started out as mind-blowing became mind-numbing. Naam's strength is taking technology that is feasible and creating a world around it, bringing up ethical and political issues that might occur because of it. However, by the third novel, there are so many characters, so many locations, motivations, and schemes that it ground all the momentum to a halt. Most of the same issues and philosophies are repeated here, though I did enjoy the movie-star holograms that appeared in people's living rooms to help the government control people's information and attitudes. It's still an interesting story, just needed more focus, and to be about 2/3 shorter.

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The Good Braider

The Good Braider by Terry Farish
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is a lyrical novel a.k.a. book written in poetry. I have to admit that the first poem undid me. This book tells a refugee story--the good and the bad, the hardships of travel, leaving loved ones behind, frustration with bureaucracy, the clash of different cultures, the hope of starting anew. It also recounts the devastation of war, how especially women and children suffer from its effects. I loved it until I realized it was not true, and not even written by an immigrant or a refugee. I actually thought it was a non-fiction book and I thought how powerful it was. It is still powerful as a fiction book--the struggle still valid--but I learned not to just plow into a book, or my expectations might get in the way of my enjoyment.

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